reading time: 7mins.
Good evening Sfaggers, today I wanted to approach the First date topic, and trust me, who better than me can give y'all a couple tips on how to not worry way too much on how the first date will go? That's me.
Now, I've been on more than 20 first dates, so im for sure a veteran if we could use this term to express it all, that went catastrophically bad.
And trust me, it wasn't my fault, I met every kind of gay trashy boy so yeah.. it wasn't my fault.
Now dating life is easier to me thanks to them and I managed to find a third date
- still to schedule - ... and I hope he won't read this article.. I mean.. none of his business in reading this, why would he need a first date tips if we are already on our third.. am I right?
Ah, the first date – a mixture of excitement, nerves, and endless possibilities. Whether you're a seasoned dater or stepping back into the scene after a hiatus, mastering the art of the first date is essential. It's your opportunity to make a lasting impression and pave the way for potential future encounters. With a few key strategies in mind, you can turn that initial meeting into a memorable experience for both parties involved.
1. Be Yourself, Authentically:
The cornerstone of any successful date is authenticity. Pretending to be someone you're not might work in the short term, but it's not sustainable for building a genuine connection. Embrace your quirks, interests, and passions – they're what make you unique. Remember, your date is there to get to know the real you, not a carefully crafted persona.
2. Choose the Right Venue:
The location sets the tone for the entire date. Opt for a venue that allows for easy conversation and reflects both of your interests. Whether it's a cozy café, a scenic park, or a bustling museum, the key is to pick a place where you can relax and engage with each other comfortably.
3. Dress to Impress (But Stay True to Yourself):
While it's important to dress appropriately for the occasion, don't feel pressured to wear something that doesn't feel like you. Choose an outfit that makes you feel confident and comfortable. Remember, your attire should enhance your personality, not overshadow it.
4. Practice Active Listening:
Listening is an underrated skill, especially on a first date. Show genuine interest in your date's stories, opinions, and experiences. Ask open-ended questions that encourage meaningful conversation and actively engage with their responses. This demonstrates respect and attentiveness, qualities that are highly attractive.
5. Keep the Conversation Balanced:
While it's natural to feel nervous on a first date, try to avoid dominating the conversation. Allow your date ample opportunity to share their thoughts and experiences. Conversely, don't be afraid to contribute to the dialogue and share anecdotes of your own. Finding a healthy balance ensures both parties feel valued and heard.
6. Maintain Positive Body Language:
Nonverbal cues can speak volumes on a first date. Maintain eye contact to convey interest and confidence, and be mindful of your posture – slouching can signal disinterest or discomfort. Smile often and lean in slightly to demonstrate engagement and warmth. Remember, your body language should complement your words, not contradict them.
7. Avoid Controversial Topics:
While it's important to be open and honest, steer clear of potentially divisive subjects such as politics, religion, or past relationships. These topics can quickly derail the conversation and create unnecessary tension. Focus instead on lighter topics that allow you to bond over shared interests and experiences.
8. Be Respectful of Boundaries:
Respect is paramount in any dating scenario. Pay attention to your date's cues and boundaries, whether they're verbal or nonverbal.
If they seem uncomfortable or disinterested, gracefully change the subject or suggest moving to a different location. Always prioritize their comfort and well-being above all else.
9. Don't Overthink the Outcome:
It's natural to wonder about the future of your budding connection, but try not to dwell on it excessively. Instead, focus on enjoying the present moment and getting to know your date on a deeper level. Remember, the purpose of a first date is to explore compatibility, not to make lifelong commitments.
10. Follow Up with Gratitude:
After the date concludes, don't forget to express your appreciation for their company. A simple thank-you message or a brief phone call can go a long way in showing your interest and sincerity. If you're interested in seeing them again, be clear about your intentions and suggest plans for a future outing.
Mastering the art of the first date requires a delicate balance of authenticity, communication, and respect. By being yourself, actively engaging with your date, and maintaining a positive attitude, you can set the stage for a memorable and meaningful connection. Embrace the experience with an open mind and heart, and who knows – you might just find yourself embarking on the journey of a lifetime.
Now, usually - coming from an ADHD kid myself - I overreact, overthink, get anxiety and stress over the first kiss so I wait for the other one to make the first move but sometimes - I should and you too - remember that life is just one, lean in for that kiss and show them your balls... I mean that's just a slang, I wanted to express that you should follow your gut and lean for the kiss, you only live once so better get that first move and go right ahead.. obviously ahead permission.
At the Sfag, we hope all of your first dates will go well, and hopefully I'll be able to update you about my third one with my Mr Big.. lol.
Dearly, Mike.